Abstinence has become a hot topic at a time when sexuality is prevalent to thrive. The causes of “dead time ” sex can vary from several months to several years.
When the “no sex” was extended too long, return to lovemaking may be accompanied by doubts, or even shame and also physical difficulties. The point with Dr. Ghislaine Paris, doctor sexologist.
“It’s been over four years since I have not made love” admits Martin, 24. A rebuff after frolicking with premature ejaculation, was decisive for him.
“I have more sex since the birth of my daughter, 3 years” says Alexandra, single mother who battle between fatigue, organization and afraid of making mistakes. Abstinence is often resented: it is equivalent to a situation of failure, and almost shameful. In some cases, this may even erotic idle signal a lack of personal value. The recovery is not always obvious …
Abstinence: various causes
Make love “Statistically, it is secondary to a painful breakup or an unhappy sexual experience” reported Dr. Ghislaine Paris, sexologist. The person can remain “stuck” to the memory of a failed relationship or sexual and cut to the possibility of a new relationship.
For men, the accusations perceived as “hurtful” most often related to their sexual performance, and negatively impact their manhood.
For women, it is more self image is at stake. The tyranny of the look is very strong, a lack of confidence in it or derogatory remarks can cause periods “without” a more or less long term. A disease that puts the body offside, or compromised sexual body, such as breast removal can also be taken into account. Pregnancy and childbirth also play a significant role in a situation of rupture with sexuality.
Talk or not?
The first question is to talk or not to a new partner when the libido of the thermometer rises and the possibility of sex is emerging? “I recommend fair play, it is better to tell her partner without going into details or dramatizing course” says Dr. Paris.
Mentioning this item, you invite him to consider it. That may explain the hesitations, failures too, and the desire to take his time. Otherwise, the other may prove awkward (e) unintentionally and rush you, with adverse consequences for the meeting!
After a period of “no sex”, the body will he react well?
Like it or not, the apprehension is the rendezvous, with unavoidable physical consequences. Knowing them allows to take account of and anticipate! “The apprehension will create stress with high adrenaline production,” adds Dr. Ghislaine Paris. In women, it may cause a lubrication problem and a reflex contraction of the perineal muscles. A key, diminished feelings of pleasure or pain during intercourse … The risk to get into a vicious circle (Apprehension / contraction / pain / fear) is real.
For humans, the symptoms are different of course, but the risk is the same. The production of adrenaline can act negatively on the erection, which can be either difficult or threatened by premature ejaculation. Moreover, the scarcity of lovemaking causes a decrease in sex hormone: testosterone … a detail to take into account.
While the timing of the transition to the act is accurate, it’s amazing the number of questions that are running through the head of a woman. Do I have enough desirable? Is my body going to respond? Doubt is consistent with a recovery in lovemaking after a long abstinence. “His presence is normal, says our expert. However, it is better to anticipate and boost his self-confidence.”
His solution: to refocus on itself, becoming narcissistic, and regain his bodily sensations. “Anything that allows you to reconnect with the body on fun mode will simplify the return to romp!” she adds. Think steam bath, massage, baths, sport … Also, be reconciled to your image: hairstyle, dress, sexy underwear … It’s time again to combine seduction and eroticism!
The report sex for a man falls mainly in a performance concern … After a long abstinence, the pressure is stronger. The antics are lived almost as a passing exam and high adrenaline levels due to stress can cause problems …
The key is to take the plu
“Never strike a night to test your sexual abilities” warns Dr. More you will weave the relational links with your partner, the more you will be reassured and you will be relaxed
Resumption of first steps “sex”
The key word: Take your time! “Raise the desire, let him time to be born, the risk to defer acting out and frustrate you a bit” advises Dr. Paris. Clearly, flirt before you jump in the water! You may be tempted (e) you rush to overcome the obstacle, but it is a bad idea. He is not about to rush immediately to the sexual areas. Instead, talk, seduce, play the card of sensuality. A sensual touch can avoid many locks! After all, you can live the first time as a new light, this time, all your experience.