I am ugly. I always felt ugly because I’m ugly! I’m too fat, I have skin that crumples, my face becomes flaccid, penis small, too big hands, big breasts hanging, too nose, thin lips too.
I’m too skinny, flat buttocks, no breasts, no muscle, flesh and bones, small a nose, too big calves, I’m too small, or too large, I have my belly hanging, I lose my hair, I do not like ugly forehead, my chin or my feet.
All these lamentations and many others can daily undermine confidence and the morale stopping.
These evils will tell more, they are part of the look, the approach.
The term reflects the disarray of this sense of injustice.
Why was I born so ugly? Why is one so beautiful?
We know the disorder anorexia. On death row, despite skeletal weight sound or ‘sick’ is too wide-be.
Next to this pathology, there is the ‘body dysmorphic disorder‘ far less known and yet much more common.
Of moderate dissatisfaction disgust of his body.
‘The dysmorphic disorder or dysmorphobie is the haunting fear of being ugly or
malformed for one or more aspects of the body (height, hair, nose, eyes, ears, breasts, etc.).
The journals ” health ” feminine or masculine equate welfare to look good.
They directly impact the perception we have of our body.
All these magazines create their own market. A cream to firm the buttocks, another against cellulite, anti-aging pill, an anti shampoo fall, etc., etc …
They bear the vice to make us believe that would not involve the eyes of others. “Do it for yourself, because you’re worth it!”
Feel good about your body … or one that is being proposed as a model.
These requirements are embodied in us, consumers conformism. These measurements are presented to us as the keys of paradise.
We adapt. When this is the period of mini-skirts, they wear miniskirts. The flesh is weak ….
We all more or less internalized standards, ourselves and others watching.
Sick every morning to see themselves in the mirror, their worst enemy, the sick every day to see themselves in the eyes of others, or reflect showcases, they attend or swimming pools or sports clubs, and know a thousand tricks to hide their supposed deformities.
Then creates a despairing hope, I find myself more beautiful if I lose … X kilos if
I work my muscles, so I do aesthetic medicine, as promise … if all these journals.
They then sell the remedies for diseases they invent.
Often there is no disease, but just a malaise, and proposed treatments are inadequate, trade goods.
Meanwhile, I denigrate me over the seconds I disgusts me and disappoint me, that de … except that of desire.
The desire disappears from the body. There are longer authorized. There are less beautiful who are ‘not so bad’ and become beautiful.
There’s the ‘not so bad’ that are ugly, transforming the expression of their body and their face ugly. There is the reality of facing the other and especially this deep need to be wanted, to be loved.
This need can come from an internal source of confidence dried up since earliest childhood.
The child had a much greater need for what he received compliments from positive reinforcement.
Sometimes he was teased. Small phrases like ‘you’re so beautiful darling!’, My darling you’re beautiful! ‘May lack cruelly in the experiences of children and adolescents.
That source dried up tries to compensate in the eyes of others.
We become beggars the eyes of others.
However, solutions exist for dysmorphophobiques, working on three levels:
1 / To work on our faults. Convinced perhaps since childhood of being ugly, the work can be worn in several ways depending on the personal history of each, with perhaps common force lines like the fact (do not) feel amiable literally and figuratively, the fact that (do not) feel desirable.
Systemic, analytical, behavioral therapy, Rogerian are all possible ways and adapted to the specific needs of each. The guidance counseling can help to articulate one of these approaches best suited with a more personal approach.
2 / Working on his body, melee whether the fact be touched by his relatives, touching oneself, and / or be touched by someone who practices massage.
Place the massage is essential in the (re) discovery of his body positive.
This is desensitization of the gaze of the other experienced as threatening, for sensory and sensual experience respectful of massage.
It must start with the areas ‘security’ for the patient, head massage, and must remain attentive to the patient at any time. Frédéric Vlies, Dorothy Thornton, Cecilia de Mora y Moya
Other more energy approaches will meet the needs of people for whom the report is difficult and impossible in touch first time, such as Kinesio – Vanden Bossche Romain, Reiki – Brigitte Goffin
3 / Work his body moving with others, teach him to dance with others, not to remain seated, sure to be a poor dancer. Some are much better at this relational dance with a natural ease with their bodies.
The théâtrothérapie (Nathalie Nenin) can play in space and in the eyes of others, in the interaction with the other.
It allows both the verbal and non-verbal to represent positive and caring way with you.
Work the body image, working his image to recognize it, learn colors that match our way is a lighter but equally important in reconciliation with oneself.